In the true spirit of the season, we thought now would be a good time to explore some career opportunities that lean toward the bizarre.
While it is easy to say that we are defined by who we are and not by what we do the sad reality is that evaluations are made based on career choices. So, as you lament (or celebrate) your professional label know that it could be a lot different if the below options were funding your paycheck:
We begin with the disgusting. Have you ever been to King’s Dominion and ridden on the roller coasters? Some people don’t have the, um, stomach for that. As a result, there are Vomit Collectors. Yup, they stand under the rides and clean up the mess.
If vomit makes you queasy you could always be a Breath Odor Evaluator. This is exactly what you think it is. You have to basically stick your nose into (or at least close to) someone’s mouth to evaluate the effectiveness of a particular product. If people aren’t your thing you can do the same for dogs. There are Dog Breath Sniffers, too. We’re not sure which is worse.
While we are on the subject of dogs – have you ever gazed longingly at Fido’s dish and wonder what it tastes like? Then you’re the perfect candidate for Pet Food Taster. You don’t actually have to eat the stuff but you do need to sample it to make sure it’s up to canine culinary standards. Given that most dogs will eat pretty much anything we think this might be more applicable to those finicky cats.
You will meet a handsome stranger and fall in love. That is not a prediction it’s what we saw on our fortune cookie at lunch the other day. These sayings are not from some ancient Asian database – these are actually created by a Fortune Cookie Writer. Admittedly, this is more of a free-lance gig but if you feel like you have a knack for this there are several companies out there that produce millions of fortune cookies every day.
If you’re a golfer the sight of a water hazard can start your knees to knocking. If you’re a golfer like me you’re probably best served by just tossing your ball into the lake. Have you ever wondered what happens to those lost Titlists? A Golf Ball Diver retrieves them. While they have to dodge the occasional snapping turtle or snake, successful (and busy) divers can earn up to six figures a year.
Winter is coming. And, you know what that means? Cold sheets (brrrr). Well, you can avoid this problem by hiring a Professional Bed Warmer. Now, this is primarily a service offered by select hotels but it also could be your next great calling.
The writers would like to apologize for the cheap jokes in the preceding paragraphs. However, we are unable to do so. Therefore, we are hiring a Professional Apologizer. This is a trend that began several years ago in Japan but has spread elsewhere. Southwest Airlines has one. And, we hear it pays about $33 an hour.
You may not feel you are cut out for any of these careers. However, they might spawn a few ideas for your Halloween costume this year.
Also, after reading this – whatever you may do certainly seems a lot more normal, doesn’t it? Unless, of course, you have seen other odd jobs.
Better yet – have you ever been asked to do something bizarre in your current position? Something not found in your job description. We’re all tasked to do things “above and beyond” at times and maybe those “additional duties as assigned” struck you as strange. Please share…in the spirit of the season, of course.